The Legend of Apollo – Puppies of Port Heiden

There once was a noble black lab named Apollo. Yes, yes, he’s not a puppy, but his story is worth telling all the same.


Apollo grew up in the Alaskan village of Port Heiden, where he dreamt of doing battle against the fierce Armored Road-Dragons that roared up and down the town’s gravel rivers.

The dreaded Armored Road-Dragons would snatch up Apollo’s family and friends and carry them off on round black rubber feet. But sometimes the beasts would bring his people back, alive and safe and occasionally smelling of food!

Apollo was confused by the Armored Road Dragons and knew they must die. And so he trained and trained. Apollo ran faster and chomped chew toys more vigorously with every abduction of his family and friends.


Snow resistance training

Until at last the day came when a chance at freedom and vengeance arrived.

With the front door ajar, adolescent Apollo nosed his way through, past a teenage human sentry (distracted on its hand-robot-screen), and into the road to find his foes.

Apollo did not have to wait long.

“Ye shall not pass, vile metal beasts”

There, approaching with swiftness and a growing cloud of dust, appeared one of the deadliest of the Armored Road-Dragons, a white Equus fordus caballus!

Apollo sprang into action, his moment had arrived. Feeling the ground beneath his paws and claws, our heroic canine dashed into some underbrush growing parallel to the road and waited patiently.

When at last the Armored Road Dragon was upon him, Apollo leapt from his hiding place to fell the wicked monster.

O, brave knight

Alas, Apollo could not vanquish the Armored Road-Dragon and was himself laid low instead. Defeat was a cruel and bitter thing. With a broken hip and battered heart, Apollo limped back home.

While recovering, Apollo learned something important. Armored Road-Dragons weren’t the evil embodiment of darkness as Apollo had once thought. They were in fact just hollow husks that housed much more malevolent beings. Lo, the dreaded Thunder Rumblers were a far worse threat, lying there in wait underneath the big front pouches of the Armored Road-Dragons.

For better or worse, Apollo has not yet found a way to access the Thunder Rumblers in their chassis homes. But he has forgiven the Armored Road-Dragons for their slights and knows they are only pawns in a much bigger game.

“I smell diesel…and fear”

Much like a creek running through a tundra, Apollo knows that revenge is best wrought fast and frigid. One day, Apollo shall bring justice to the world. But until that day, he recovers, prepares, and listens well for his enemies.

Long live justice.

Long live Apollo.

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