When Foxes Attack

Despite my unease around Port Heiden’s chickens, I’ve grown fond of the flightless wonders. Sure, their angry eyes and jerky movements make me squeamish, but I appreciate them and their contribution to this little Alaskan community.

Thus, I was terribly conflicted when a fox broke into the hen house one summer night,

Cause I kinda liked foxes. They’re cuddly, smart, and seem to enjoy following me around when I hike or run. Totally endearing, right?

But the fact remains: one of them messed with our egg supply. And that is unacceptable.

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Terrorist

The Native Village of Port Heiden relies on these eggs as a source of income and nutrition for its families. And the foxes just declared war on their economy.

As the rest of the town slumbered peacefully, at least one fox broke into the biggest hen house by digging underneath the metal fence. It proceeded to decapitate over a dozen chickens before devouring a couple.

This senseless slaughter irked many in Port Heiden, myself included. If the fox(es) had merely killed and eaten two chickens, so it goes. But to kill that many and only eat two!? What a waste!

Corrective actions have followed this attack on the village fowl, both defensive and not.

First, the metal fence was repaired and shored up, with the weak spots receiving extra gravel fill and some big heavy rocks to really fortify the feathery sanctuary.

The second measure involved an offense against Port Heiden’s foxes. Battle lines were drawn and the outcome was inevitable. It wasn’t total war, but effective nonetheless.

The collective force of a unified Port Heiden is single-minded and resolute in efficiency and execution.

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“Remember the cluck-cluck birds” – Apollo

In terms of military might, the village’s arsenal is vast and vengeance was swift.

Unfortunately, no fox(es) were found close to the hen house in the evenings following the attack. This at least would have ensured that the original party was brought to justice. But like the felonious masterminds they are, the foxy culprit/s didn’t return to the scene of the crime.

Other foxes were obliterated by village members though. Quite literally in one instance of shotgun-based retaliation. It was a bloody bit of payback.

Moral of the story: don’t mess with Port Heiden’s egg supply.

It won’t end well.

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