Chick It Out

Chickens are strange.

Their feet give me the heeby-jeebies. And have you ever noticed the way their scowls flit from objective to objective? Tiny downy dinosaurs. That’s what they are.

But I figure it’s best to be allied with these little ravenous monsters, at least in the name of protein-consumption. The Alaskan village of Port Heiden has almost 20 birds, all valuable assets to the community and my kitchen.

A few times a week, I muster some courage to feed the beasties and then watch with horror as they tear apart the village’s leftovers.

Mid-feeding, Port Heiden’s chickens are a sickening sight to behold. But it’s worth it. For the eggs. The delicious farm fresh eggs.

I wish their eggs weren’t so amazing.

Because of the eggs, I’ve formed a symbiotic bond with these feathered vermin. It’s an uncomfortably gratifying bond, as I’m repulsed by these creatures. But it works out for all parties involved.

The village doesn’t burden its waste processing facility with as much refuse and saves money on chicken feed. And the beak-demons clearly win by getting a more abundant and diverse food supply. Everyone wins.

Be a hero, feed your local chickens today.